I think that it can sometimes be difficult to clearly explain the law of justice and the law of mercy, and how the atonement fits into this. It’s kind of deeper doctrine that can seem a little abstract. Anyway, I found this object lesson to be quite clever- a great way to help visualize these concepts and make the principles more concrete.  This idea came to me while reading Alma 34:16 on my mission, and it just clicked, so I wanted to share.

Hopefully I’ll explain it in a way so it’s easily understood. If you have any questions or insights to add, please comment below!

What you’ll need:
A balloon
A pin
Masking tape

What each object represents:
Pin = Sin (Law of Justice)
Tape = Atonement of Jesus Christ  (Law of Mercy)
Balloon = Your eternal potential (Ability to become like & return to live with Heavenly Father)

*I’ll expand on this later in the post

Scriptures to prayerfully study:
Mosiah 15 & 16
Alma 34 (especially verses 8-17 & 30-34)
Alma 42

The Importance of the Atonement

I think whenever we teach about the atonement it’s important to emphasize the crucialness of the atonement, by somehow painting a picture of what things would be like without it. This is exactly what many prophets in the Book of Mormon did, such as King Benjamin, Abinadi, Alma, etc.

It’s important because, if we truly understand the needfulness of the atonement, it makes us more likely to exercise the faith and repentance necessary to make the atonement work in our lives. But if its importance doesn’t sink deeply enough into our hearts, we’re likely to take it for granted and not be as motivated to take the steps to apply the atonement to ourselves.

It is expedient that an atonement should be made; for according to the great plan of the Eternal God there must be an atonement made, or else all mankind must unavoidably perish; yea, all are hardened; yea, all are fallen and are lost, and must perish except it be through the atonement which it is expedient should be made.” (Alma 34:9)

For the sake of simplicity, I’m going to use the terms Atonement and Mercy synonymously here (since the atonement is what brings about the law of mercy).

Balloon & Tape Object Lesson

Important Principles to Understand:

1. The Law of Justice

What, do ye suppose that mercy can rob justice? I say unto you, Nay; not one whit. If so, God would cease to be God.” (Alma 42:25)

God abides by the law of justice. This is His law.

The law of justice is like the law of gravity or any other law of physics. When you walk off a diving board, there’s a natural consequence. When you put a pin through a balloon, it pops. You can’t avoid the consequence- it’s inevitable. Likewise, if we sin, there is a punishment: separation from God’s presence, because “no unclean thing can enter into the presence of God.” (1 Nephi 10:21)

Let’s suppose for a minute that there were no atonement. If you made a mistake, even once, in your life, you would be banished from Heavenly Father’s presence forever. You blew it- no second chances. That’s how the law of justice works.

(To demonstrate this, you might even want to have two balloons, so that you can pop one and use the other later).

2. The Law of Mercy

Thankfully, there is an atonement. We all have sinned, but because of the atonement, there is a second chance. The law of mercy can balance out the law of justice.

Put a piece of masking tape on the balloon and ask someone to stick the pin through the balloon where the tape is. (The balloon should not pop).

Explain that the tape represents the atonement and then discuss the following scriptures:

• Alma 34:15-16

This being the intent of this last sacrifice, to bring about the bowels of mercy, which overpowereth justice, and bringeth about means unto men that they may have faith unto repentance.”

“And thus mercy can satisfy the demands of justice, and encircles them in the arms of safety”

(I love this! It fits so perfectly into the balloon analogy!)

• Mosiah 15:8-9

And thus God breaketh the bands of death, having gained the victory over death; giving the Son power to make intercession for the children of men—
Having ascended into heaven, having the bowels of mercy; being filled with compassion towards the children of men; standing betwixt them and justice; having broken the bands of death, taken upon himself their iniquity and their transgressions, having redeemed them, and satisfied the demands of justice.”

Explain that the tape is what protects the balloon from being “exposed to the whole demands of the law of justice,” just as Jesus Christ, through his atonement, stands between us and justice, if we will take advantage of his atonement.

3. We Must Do Our Part

It’s important to emphasize that–even though Christ atoned for our sins– if we don’t repent and take the steps required to access God’s mercy, it’s as if there were no atonement made.

Suggested scriptures to read/discuss:

• Mosiah 16:4-5

But remember that he that persists in his own carnal nature, and goes on in the ways of sin and rebellion against God, remaineth in his fallen state and the devil hath all power over him. Therefore he is as though there was no redemption made, being an enemy to God”

• Alma 34:16

And thus mercy can satisfy the demands of justice, and encircles them in the arms of safety, while he that exercises no faith unto repentance is exposed to the whole law of the demands of justice; therefore only unto him that has faith unto repentance is brought about the great and eternal plan of redemption.”

• Alma 11:41

Therefore the wicked remain as though there had been no redemption made”

Explain that not repenting of our sins is like having the masking tape right in front of us, but not applying it to our balloon. It is then exposed to the whole law of justice because there is no safety net. The atonement takes absolutely no effect in our lives if we neglect to do our part.

You could end by bearing testimony and expressing gratitude for the atonement of Jesus Christ.

*                    *                        *                    *

One other thought I had to expand on this –

If you use a helium balloon it makes the analogy even more powerful. Because, if you let go the balloon will float heavenward, symbolic of our ability to return to God’s presence and reach our full potential! (Does that make sense?) You could even take this object lesson outside for more of a dramatic effect. Once the tape is applied, show that, despite our inevitable mistakes, the atonement makes it possible for us to still be able to return home.

—————————————————————————–
Disclaimer: I’m not claiming that this is a perfect analogy. (I think any analogy can probably be extrapolated too far until it no longer makes sense). But I do think it does an excellent job of getting the message across of the basic concepts of the atonement, the laws of justice/mercy and how they work together for our good.

Have you ever used this object lesson before? How did it go? Any thoughts?

I’ve been thinking a lot about charity, and discovered some really cool insights, which I want to share!

Charity is Pure

Moroni 7:47 tells us that Charity is the pure love of Christ. A pure substance is one that is free from any kind of contamination. It is only that substance, not tainted with anything else.

Later on in verse 48 Moroni encourages us to “Pray to the Father …that ye may be FILLED with this love.” Well how can our hearts be filled with charity if they are already filled with other things, like anger or other unChristlike feelings? So we must pray first that our hearts may be EMPTIED, in order to make room to be filled.

But is it enough to just empty it partway?

No. Because even if there is a little itty bit of anger, jealousy, or malice left in your heart, when the PURE love of Christ is figuratively poured into it, it is no longer pure, which means it is no longer charity. Charity cannot co-exist with uncharitable feelings, or it becomes twisted and tainted, and we become self-deceived, thinking we have attained charity when in reality we are still far from it.

Possessing Charity Makes Us Pure!

Moroni 7:48 says how we should pray for charity “with all the energy of heart . . .that we may be purified even as He [Christ] is pure.” So this clearly is saying that charity can be a cleansing agent. Having charity not only purifies our hearts, but also  sanctifies our whole being.

Charity Never Faileth.

For me, this one of the most powerful statements ever made in scripture. Never is a strong word. You know those times when you feel you’re in a predicament that there is no solution to? Here Heavenly Father tells us that there is a panacea to help us succeed in ANY situation. Charity NEVER fails. Wouldn’t we all be willing to do anything to have access to a fix-anything tool at any given moment? We’d want to use it first thing, not as a last resort, because well, duh- it never fails! Of course, this doesn’t mean that having charity will magically dissolve all of life’s problems, but it will always improve the situation and help us succeed in the eternal perspective. Sounds like something worth working for.

Charity gives us 20-20 vision!

Charity helps us see clearly. We learn this in Moroni 7:48. If we have charity when the Savior comes, we are promised that “we shall see him as he is.” So in other words, if we don’t have charity, we won’t necessarily see things as they truly are. Our ability to discern truth will be skewed.

As we develop charity, it becomes a part of who we are. It purifies us, and our ability to see things as they really are becomes clearer and less tainted.

*                           *                       *                           *

I won’t go into details, but there was a time on my mission when I was going through a difficult time with my relationship with a particular companion. As I was praying in the midst of my stress and anguish, I felt prompted to pray for charity. Right as I did, a warm feeling came over me, as if Heavenly Father wanted me know I was praying for the right thing. Now I can honestly say that I love that companion more than ever. But looking back, as I strove to become more charitable, I learned that it doesn’t come easy. It’s a gradual process. And just when you think you have developed it, you will find that it will be tested over and over again. It’s easy to love someone from a distance. It’s easy to love someone who is always easy to love. But true charity requires genuine loving, even when it is hard to love – especially when it’s hard. And that kind of love requires a change of heart, which can only come when we yield our hearts to God.

Charity is a feeling of love, but it is also a decision to love. Charity is when you serve and are kind to someone who is not necessarily kind back to you. Charity is resisting the impulse to judge others, even when it feels justified. It is esteeming others highly, giving people the benefit of the doubt, and remembering that each person is a very precious child of Heavenly Father, just like you. It is being nice no matter what another person says or does.

I’m still working on developing charity. I still have a long way to go, but because of this and similar experiences, I feel like I’m a lot closer than I used to be. Hopefully I’ll make it by the end of this lifelong quest!

P.S. I love President Monson’s talk, “Charity Never Faileth.” If you haven’t read it yet, you should drop everything and read it now. It’s fantastic.

I love the rich symbolism of Lehi’s vision of the tree of life. I think it’s one of the best parables we could ever study because I believe that it nothing else is as applicable to life right now than it is. The more I study about it, the more layers of meaning I uncover and the more significant in becomes in my life. I feel like the iron rod is one of the most important symbols in this dream. Here are some of my favorite quotes about the iron rod that I think are worth sharing. So we all know that the iron rod represents the word of God (see 1 Nephi 8), but I think the following quotes provide some really cool, extra insights about what that actually means and why it’s so important. Click here to see a list of some of my favorite quotes about Lehi’s Dream in general. 

If there is any one thing most needed in this time of tumult and frustration, when men and women and youth and young adults are desperately seeking for answers to the problems which afflict mankind, it is an “iron rod” as a safe guide along the straight path on the way to eternal life, amidst the strange and devious roadways that would eventually lead to destruction and to the ruin of all that is “virtuous, lovely, or of good report.”  (Ann M. Dibb)

Yea, we see that whosoever will may lay hold upon the word of God, which is quick and powerful, which shall divide asunder all the cunning and the snares and the wiles of the devil, and lead the man of Christ in a strait and narrow course across that everlasting gulf of misery which is prepared to engulf the wicked— And land their souls, yea, their immortal souls, at the right hand of God in the kingdom of heaven, to sit down with Abraham, and Isaac, and with Jacob, and with all our holy fathers, to go no more out.” (Helaman 3: 29-30)

Wouldn’t it be a great thing if all who are well schooled in secular learning could hold fast to the “iron rod,” or the word of God, which could lead them, through faith, to an understanding, rather than to have them stray away into strange paths of man-made theories and be plunged into the murky waters of disbelief and apostasy? (Harold B. Lee)

There are many who profess to be religious and speak of themselves as Christians, and, according to one such, “as accepting the scriptures only as sources of inspiration and moral truth,” and then ask in their smugness: “Do the revelations of God give us a handrail to the kingdom of God, as the Lord’s messenger told Lehi, or merely a compass?” (Harold B. Lee)

From Lehi’s vision we learn that we must take hold of this safety railing—this iron rod, found alongside our individual straight and narrow path—and hold tight until we reach our ultimate goal of eternal life with our Heavenly Father. Nephi promises that those who hold fast to the iron rod“would never perish; neither could the temptations and the fiery darts of the adversary overpower them unto blindness, to lead them away to destruction” (1 Nephi 15:24). (Ann M. Dibb)

I invite you to read again the full accounts of this inspired vision. Study them, ponder them, and apply them to your daily life. In modern terms we might say we are invited to “get a grip.” We must hold on tight to the iron rod and never let go. (Ann M. Dibb)

Holding to the iron rod is not always easy. We may let go because of peer pressure or pride, thinking we can find our own way back—later. When we do so, we are leaving our safety equipment behind. In Lehi’s vision he saw many who let go of the iron rod. Nephi says, “And many were lost from his view, wandering in strange roads” (1 Nephi 8:32). In difficult times in our own lives, we may find we are also “wandering in strange roads.” Let me reassure you that it is always possible for us to find our way back. Through repentance, made possible by the atoning sacrifice of our Savior, Jesus Christ, we can regain and recommit to a strong grip on the iron rod and feel the loving guidance of our Heavenly Father once again. The Savior has extended an open invitation to us: repent, hold on, and don’t let go. (Ann M. Dibb)

 The first group started along the strait and narrow path, but they did not take hold of the iron rod that would keep them on the path, and they got lost in the mists of darkness (see 1 Nephi 8:21–23). (Mary N. Cook)

To navigate through these mists of darkness we need the iron rod, which represents the word of God (see 1 Nephi 15:23–24). We must study and understand the truths and commandments found in the scriptures. We must listen carefully to the words of our latter-day prophets, whose teachings will give us guidance, direction, and protection. And we must hold to the standards found in For the Strength of Youth.  (Mary N. Cook)

What will help you to press forward and continually hold fast to the iron rod? Center your life on the Savior and develop daily habits of righteous living. (Mary N. Cook)

We have no excuse to deviate from the paths of righteousness. If we hold fast to the iron rod, we cannot be deceived. (Wm. Grant Bangerter)

We begin to make the plan known to our children when we hold tight to the iron rod ourselves. (Rosemary M. Wixom)

When we are holding tight to the iron rod, we are in a position to place our hands over theirs and walk the strait and narrow path together. Our example is magnified in their eyes. They will follow our cadence when they feel secure in our actions. We do not need to be perfect—just honest and sincere. Children want to feel as one with us. When a parent says, “We can do it! We can read the scriptures daily as a family,” the children will follow! (Rosemary M. Wixom)

In his dream, Lehi saw an iron rod which led through the mists of darkness. He saw that if people would hold fast to that rod, they could avoid the rivers of filthiness, stay away from the forbidden paths, stop from wandering in the strange roads that lead to destruction. Later his son Nephi clearly explained the symbolism of the iron rod. When Laman and Lemuel asked, “What meaneth the rod of iron?” Nephi answered, “It was the word of God; and [note this promise] whoso would hearken unto the word of God, and would hold fast unto it, they would never perish; neither could the temptations and the fiery darts of the adversary overpower them unto blindness, to lead them away to destruction.” (1 Ne. 15:23–24; italics added.) Not only will the word of God lead us to the fruit which is desirable above all others, but in the word of God and through it we can find the power to resist temptation, the power to thwart the work of Satan and his emissaries. (Ezra Taft Benson)

Nephi taught that by clinging to the word of God, as though it be a handrail, we would be able to avoid temptations and not lose our way in darkness. Thus, we would remain on the narrow path. (Joseph B. Wirthlin)

As we go through life, even through very rough waters, a father’s instinctive impulse to cling tightly to his wife or to his children may not be the best way to accomplish his objective. Instead, if he will lovingly cling to the Savior and the iron rod of the gospel, his family will want to cling to him and to the Savior. (Russell M. Nelson)

In time one who makes decisions based upon circumstance is virtually assured to commit serious transgressions. There is no iron rod of truth to keep that person in the right way. He or she will continually be faced with many subtle temptations to make deviations from the commandments. Those choices are justified by arguing that they are not that bad, that they are more socially acceptable and provide a broader base of friends. A clever individual without foundation principles can at times acquire, temporarily, impressive accomplishments. Yet that attainment is like a sand castle. When the test of character comes, it crumbles, often taking others with it. Despite how carefully a transgressor seeks to keep the violation of commandments hidden, in time they nearly always become publicly known. Satan himself sees to that. He and his minions are determined to cause the greatest possible harm to each of Father in Heaven’s children. One serious act of disobedience or violation of trust invariably raises questions of whether or not there are others. The faith and confidence of others in that individual’s character is undermined. (Richard G. Scott)

Real disciples absorb the fiery darts of the adversary by holding aloft the quenching shield of faith with one hand, while holding to the iron rod with the other (see Eph. 6:16; 1 Ne. 15:24; D&C 27:17). There should be no mistaking; it will take both hands! (Neal A. Maxwell)

As Latter-day Saints we must ever be vigilant. The way for each person and each family to guard against the slings and arrows of the Adversary and to prepare for the great day of the Lord is to hold fast to the iron rod, to exercise greater faith, to repent of our sins and shortcomings, and to be anxiously engaged in the work of His kingdom on earth, which is The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Herein lies the only true happiness for all our Father’s children. (Spencer W. Kimball)

 Let us hold fast to the iron rod. The Savior urged us to put our hand to the plow without looking back. In that spirit we are being asked to have humility and a deep and abiding faith in the Lord and to move forward—trusting in him, refusing to be diverted from our course, either by the ways of the world or the praise of the world. (Spencer W. Kimball)

 We can hold to the iron rod even if others slip away and a few end up mocking us from “the great and spacious building. (Neal A. Maxwell)

1. The Nourishing Power of Hymns

If you haven’t read this talk by Elder Jay E. Jensen, you have to read it. It’s life-changing. At least it was for me.

The Power of Hymns to Invite the Spirit

Hymns vs. Classical Music 

Singing Hymns as Lullabies

One of my favorite lines quoted in this talk was:

Teach your children to love the hymns. Sing them on the Sabbath, in family home evening, during scripture study, at prayer time. Sing as you work, as you play, and as you travel together. Sing hymns as lullabies to build faith and testimony in your young ones.”

I love that. Singing hymns should be woven into our everyday activities! It should become part of who we are. When we use them often, they can build testimony and strengthen faith.

When I heard this talk, I decided that when I became a mother, I wanted to sing hymns as lullabies to my children. I remember that first week after bringing Nephi home from the hospital, I started trying to sing hymns to him often, while nursing him to sleep, holding him, etc. One thing that’s been neat — I’ve actually noticed that hymns have a calming affect on Nephi. Sometimes when he’s crying and inconsolable, nothing will work, but if I start singing a hymn to him he settles right down. It’s really sweet. Every time that happens, it strengthens my testimony of the power of hymns to invite the spirit.

Nighttime Rituals

Right along with that, this talk also sparked in me the desire to make nighttime rituals an important part of my family life. It gave me a desire to sing my children to sleep, or at least bring hymns in as a fundamental part of their bedtime routine. When I was a little girl, my mom would rock me on her lap and sing to me. I also remember my dad standing next to my top-bunk bed singing “Abide with me” at night before I went to sleep. I don’t remember how young I was or for how long that that routine lasted, but it definitely created a lasting memory. I remember when the twins (my two youngest sisters) were growing up, my sister Lisa would often volunteer to go in and sing them to sleep. Sometimes I would join in, but most of the time I’d just go to bed – busy with other things, school, etc. But now I kind of regret not doing that more often. The twins (now 14) remember those nightly rituals with fondness. Back then it really didn’t seem like a big deal. They were so little it didn’t seem like they’d even remember those bedtime rituals or that it would even make a difference if I opted out of participating. Anyways, it just made me want to not miss out on those kinds of opportunities with my own children. This talk reinforced my desire to make those bedtime rituals a priority.

Memorizing the Hymns

On my Mission

Musical Callings

A Way of Life

I’m grateful to have married someone who loves singing hymns. I remember when we were first getting to know each other, I thought it was neat how Alex would gather friends together to sing hymns. He also loved playing the hymns on the piano and he took his calling as a ward choir director very seriously. Alex loves to sing songs that invite the spirit. Because of the type of person he is, it’s felt pretty natural to incorporate the singing of hymns into our lifestyle and make it an frequent and fundamental part of family life. I’m grateful for that.

2. The Lord’s Way

Wow. I had a huge paradigm shift after hearing this talk, given by Elder Stanley G. Ellis in the April 2013 General Conference. I’ll include the excerpt from his talk that really changed the way I thought about things (emphasis added):

One thing we have often been taught is to bloom where we are planted. Yet sometimes we are tempted to migrate to some new area, thinking our children will have more friends and therefore better youth programs.

Brothers and sisters, do we really think the critical factor in the salvation of our children is the neighborhood where we live? The apostles and prophets have often taught that what happens inside the home is far more important than what our children encounter outside. How we raise our children is more important than where we raise them.

Certainly there are other factors involved in deciding where to live, and thankfully, the Lord will guide us if we seek His confirmation.

Another question is “Where are we needed?” For 16 years I served in the presidency of the Houston Texas North Stake. Many moved to our area during those years. We would often receive a phone call announcing someone moving in and asking which was the best ward. Only once in 16 years did I receive a call asking, “Which ward needs a good family? Where can we help?”

In the early years of the Church, President Brigham Young and others would call members to go to a certain place to build up the Church there. The irony is that even now we have faithful Church members everywhere who would go anywhere the prophet asked them to go. Do we really expect President Monson to individually tell more than 14 million of us where our family is needed? The Lord’s way is that we hearken to our leaders’ teachings, understand correct principles, and govern ourselves.”

Thinking Back to the Castle Valley Pageant

I think a major reason why this talk had such a profound impact on me was because I had recently gone to see the Castle Valley pageant with some high school friends. It was my first time ever visiting Castle Valley, and as we drove out there, I have to admit, I didn’t really like it. Castle Valley just seemed like a desolate desert. I felt a little like Lehi in the wilderness. We drove and drove, and I remember coming to the outside amphitheater where the pageant was held. It was literally smack dab in the middle of nowhere – desert and sagebrush on all sides. And I remember thinking how Castle Valley is probably the last place I’d ever want to live.

(Photo by russavia)

Well, come to find out–the theme of the pageant actually touched on that very thing. It was a story of a family from Mount Pleasant, Utah (which happens to be my hometown, so this hit home even more for me!) who were called by the prophet to go settle and build up the church in Castle Valley. Some members of the family protested and didn’t want to go. They had just built their homes in Mount Pleasant. They were comfortable there. That’s where their extended family was (and back then I imagine it was probably a lot harder to keep connected with family if you lived far away). But the pageant told of their journey of faith and how they accepted their call from the prophet to go and settle in Castle Valley.

I’ll Go Where You Want Me to Go

So, in light of that, this conference talk made me realize that the principle of going where He wants you to go is still a true principle (which perhaps nowadays we don’t consider as seriously as we should when deciding where to settle down with our families). I had always been one to want to live in a really good neighborhood with a really good ward. So this got me thinking. Maybe even if we do seek direction for where we should live, perhaps we limit the revelation we might receive because of our own preconceived conditions that we’ve already set in stone. (i.e. As long as it’s one of the options we’ve already chosen. As long as it’s where we can get a good job and where there will be “good opportunities.” Or, as long as it’s close to family, etc.) Of course, those are all important factors. But–setting all that aside–what if the Lord told me I was needed in Castle Valley? Would I be willing to go, without question, no matter the sacrifice? Or would I cling to my own preferences and opinions of what would be best for my future and my family? Honestly, I’ll admit that it would be reeeeeeally hard for me to drop everything I go somewhere like that, so I’m not saying I’d be the perfect example of this. It would definitely take a lot of faith.

The Law of Sacrifice

Elder Ellis’ remarks made me think about how this is part of the law of sacrifice. He reminded us that just because President Monson isn’t going to individually tell each of us where to live, doesn’t mean we shouldn’t still govern ourselves by that very same principle. The only difference is that we need to be the ones to actively seek out that revelation for ourselves, just like Lehi did for his family when he was inspired to leave Jerusalem and go journey into the wilderness, leaving behind all their gold and silver. Thinking about this has made me more willing to go wherever Heavenly Father wants us to go. Rather than basing where I end up on whether or not it’s a “good neighborhood,” I realized the great importance of seeking direct personal revelation to guide our moving decisions.

Building up the Kingdom

This talk also made me realize that my main goal in everything I do should be to build up the kingdom of God. I realized that it is selfish to think only of my own comfort and have the mindset of “what’s in it for me and family?” when deciding where to settle down. I should also be focused on how I can help the work to progress and where my influence might be needed the most.

Faith in the Lord

Also, one idea I had — Perhaps basing where I live solely on its visible “opportunities” shows a lack of faith. Heavenly Father can make more out of our lives than we can. Because, really, if Heavenly Father wanted me to live in a certain place, then certainly He would provide even better opportunities there for my family and children than I could ever find somewhere else on my own.  He’d put the right people in our lives, line up certain things just right, or bless us with unexpected tender mercies, etc. These trump any benefits we try to get by relying on our own knowledge to seek out “better youth programs” and “better neighborhoods.”

I once remember one of my uncles commenting on how, when his family was relocating to Salt Lake City, several people advised him to avoid certain “sketchy neighborhoods” in the area. But they ended up moving into one of those neighborhoods and met some of the most down-to-earth people there and had a really positive experience. I guess it’s not where we live. It’s how we live. It’s how we raise our family that matters. Blessings will flow when we’re willing to sacrifice to go where the Lord wants us to go. This was a humbling message for me.

3. Nothing Shall Offend Them

This was a very empowering talk. I felt empowered when I first heard it, and every time I think back to it and try to apply it, I feel empowered. I like how Elder Bednar uses the phrase “triumph over offense.” From this talk I learned about the huge role of our own free agency in choosing to be offended. It also made me realize how free and peaceful life can be when we choose not to take offense.

And just because that excerpt of the talk is so good, I’m going to include it here:

When we believe or say we have been offended, we usually mean we feel insulted, mistreated, snubbed, or disrespected. And certainly clumsy, embarrassing, unprincipled, and mean-spirited things do occur in our interactions with other people that would allow us to take offense. However, it ultimately is impossible for another person to offend you or to offend me. Indeed, believing that another person offended us is fundamentally false. To be offended is a choice we make; it is not a condition inflicted or imposed upon us by someone or something else. . .Through the strengthening power of the Atonement of Jesus Christ, you and I can be blessed to avoid and triumph over offense.”

Reactivation

This talk changed my whole outlook on my mission, especially with regard to the way I approached reactivation on my mission. It helped me to gain a greater conviction that when you fall away from the church because of taking offense at something someone did or said, you are really only hurting yourself. You voluntarily deprive yourself of countless blessings that could be yours, simply because someone offended you. We don’t stop shopping at the grocery store if a fellow shopper happens to offend us while we are there. Why? Because we need food. Well, we need the nourishment of the gospel just as we need food from the grocery store. How silly to cut ourselves off from the source of nourishment because of being offended at someone else’s actions or inactions. Because of this talk, I approached reactivating inactive members as a rescuing effort. But I saw it as rescuing them from themselves. We were helping them see how they were only hurting themselves by staying away from church and that they needed to come back in order to access the atonement of Jesus Christ, which would enable them to “triumph over offense.”  I learned of the effectiveness of being bold in inviting others back to church. I actually carried around copies of this talk to share with members/fellow missionaries because I felt that the counsel and teachings in it were so valuable.

One of the Purposes of Attending Church

This talk also changed the way I think about church and how I approach situations involving social interaction at church. One of the things he said that I thought was interesting was that church is a “learning laboratory” where we learn by practicing on each other. It’s not meant to be a perfect place where everyone is flawless and where no offensive things ever happen. In fact, that’s one of the main reasons for attending church, so we can learn from our mistakes in our interactions with others. It can refine us into more charitable people and be better forgivers. That’s a comforting thought!

Not Making a Big Deal over Little Things

Because of this talk, I realized that most of the things that we get offended by are really rather trivial unless we allow our own pride to magnify them. I learned from the example of Pahoran. He was innocent of any wrongdoing, but was reprimanded harshly by Moroni, who didn’t see the whole picture. But instead of being offended at Moroni wrongly accusing him, Pahoran simply replied, “It mattereth not; I am not angry, but do rejoice in the greatness of your heart.” How inspiring. He didn’t let it get to him. He chose to focus on Moroni’s good qualities rather than dwell on his shortcomings. He triumphed over offense. What a great way to live. I want to be more like that and be able to say “it mattereth not” when faced with the temptation to be offended.

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So there you have it. Those the 3 general conference talks that changed my life. Wow, this ended up being a super long post! But I guess when you’re talking about something life-changing, it’s not really something you can skim over very easily. I hope that if nothing else, this gives someone the desire to go back and review these talks. They are wonderful.

 

I know that we have living prophets on the Earth today and that their counsel is inspired and can literally change our lives if we let it. I’m so grateful to be a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints and to be living in a time when the words of the living prophets are so easily accessible to almost anyone in the world. Life is wonderful!

 

(Photo credits: LDS.org and Mormon Newsroom)

 

What are some general conference talks that have changed your life?
I’d love to hear about them.